–––––––– THE INK ON COTTON BLOG ––––––––

Buy an IOC – or the world will end!

Ok, I’ll start with a confession. I lied in the headline. It was sensationalised clickbait and I’m sorry. In my defence, I was thinking about a wider point about how much exaggeration permeates into our daily lives. Films are the most obvious examples with their overblown tag lines and melodrama. I remember seeing a trailer for a horror film which said, ‘You’ll never get to sleep again’. What am I supposed to do with that? To be honest, it had the opposite of its intended effect because I thought, ‘well, that sounds inconvenient at best. I’ll probably give that a miss, then.’

Some of you may have seen the story this week about the family who forgot to lock their car doors whilst on safari and had a close encounter with a lioness that apparently had learned to open doors. It’s an amusing side story which ended, thankfully, with no injuries and a solid lesson in big cat safety. But if you believed the internet, you’d think it was the biggest door-handle-related scandal since the velociraptor in Jurassic Park.

My favourite headline about this was, Lions can open car doors. Goodbye human race! Well, let’s unpack that for a minute. I have no issue with the first half. Although technically it has only been proven that one lion can open a car door, I can accept the general point. It’s the second part that made me reach for my keyboard in pedantic rage. Goodbye human race? So apparently the fact that a lion can open a car door means they will rise up and take over the world like some John Carpenter B-film.

This does overlook some of the more basic elements of lion life. Not least, that they mainly tend to live in Africa, on the plains. They may be able to open doors, but unless they have also mastered applying for passports and air travel (maybe the author thought they meant African Planes? – that was a little spelling pun joke for ya there…) it’s probably safe to say we don’t need to worry about being mauled by Simba on the daily commute just yet.

You’re probably thinking this is all just a convoluted way of crowbarring in some news about IOC. And you’d be right. Because also in lion-news, we have a brilliant piece by Sneaky Mitch, called Lyonite, available now. We promise you’ll be able to open car doors while wearing it and it won’t cause the end of the world.